Funnies from a friend

For Grandparents:

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under
the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd
done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you
forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.
My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
"Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what
her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside
on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a
tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed,
taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to
know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we
alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out
something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.. At
last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa.
Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says
I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said,
"how do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a
public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The
teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means
carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to
their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use
the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want
her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her
visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good
good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart
as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you
hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

April Blessing

And what usually happens April 1st. You get fooled. This April first I was blessed. I was at Curves just beginning to work out when my cell rang. I missed it per usual. But it was Matt and I left him a message to call me if it was urgent otherwise I would call after my workout. Quickly he returned my call and tole me Stacy was to have a C-section that night. They had tried to turn the baby(she was breech) and Stacy went into labor. They were waiting for an operationg room so there would be time to get there before the baby was born. Liz, Stacy's mom, was there. Bryan asked Matt to call when Stacy went into labor, he agreed. We waited for Miranda to get to SL from Provo then went out to dinner across the street from IMC at Mimi's. Just as we started dinner, Liz callled to say Stacy had been in the OR for about an hour. Matt had apparently not remembered to call. I wonder why?!!!! Then the call came that we had a baby. Liz said Stacy had requested a while to just be with the baby. So we finished dinner, and when we got to the hospital Stacy was ready to have company. She was tired but so mindful of all of us who wanted to hold the sweetest baby ever born. She was gracious and generous with sharing Miss Kalianna Dace Carroll with all her adoring relatives the whole time they stayed at the hospital. I was able to see her every day until discharge on Sunday. Then Miranda and I were privileged to help the new family pack up and go home. I cried as they drove off as I am as I write this. It is amazing to be a Grandma/Nana, I hated to see them drive all the way!!! to Layton. IMC was so close. But I reveled in the beautiful family they had become with their little girl. Stacy's smile as she looked at Kalianna, Matt's care of Stacy and his daughter are memories I will cherish. Then this past Friday I got to spend the day with Stacy and Kali. I determined not to be a baby hog. But I needn't have worried. Stacy shares Kali generously. And I was able to again store memories of Stacy loving her baby. I feel so blessed by my Heavenly Father for this son and daughter and their sweet little girl. I have such abundant blessings. Alice Kersiek once said she didn't know why she had been blessed to be in this place and time when so many others are not so blessed. I do not know either but I am eternally grateful. And now some pictures if I can figure it out before midnight. PS: It only took until 10:59 PM. Hurrah!

And February came and is going...

and I got an office clean, but it wasn't mine! Bryan's office got picked up and dusted. My office is better but not done. Got the taxes done but had a nasty surprise. Acumen had not taken Federal taxes out and now we are paying for their error. Supposedly, my W4 says I am single and have 4 dependents??! Imagine that. I didn't know I could claim the animals! Learn something new every day! Needless to say I am submitting a new W4. I am getting more excited for the new Miss Carroll due to put in an appearance on or around April 20th. I keep looking at all the things I want to get to make Grandma's house a fun place to come. Another decision is what I want to be called. I like the sound of Grandma but I had a Nana and wonder if that might be a better fit. Bryan has nixed Fafa but I think Papa sounds nice. But I imagine it will all evolve on it's own just as Miranda did not ever become Mandy like her dad thought it would. As close as it came was Miranda anda jane which was more a song than a name. Well, as usual it is late but not too bad yet unless I continue to blog. So off to bed we go. Such a nice day it was.

Night owl vs day person

It would be really nice if I liked to go to bed at a reasonable hour and get up before 10AM. But I am really not made that way. I find I like to do most things in the quiet night/early morning hour. Which does play havoc with need to get up at ~6:10 AM to get Bryan and me to work. Lucky for me I get towork at home Mon and Tues. After Bryan goes to work, I find it very refreshing to take a nap. Does make those 9hrs stretch into early evening... Oh well, I will see what I can change during my mini vacation in Feb. I really want/need to clean/arrange my office. It would be so nice to work in an organized space. So that is my goal for my MV. I have also started the wt loss program at Curves and convinced Bry to do it too. Support is a lovely thing or maybe it is misery loves company. Guess we'll just have to see how it feels. So far it has been fairly painless, but I did slip towards the side of the wagon; at least not all the way off. If I do this right I may even be willing to wear a swimming suit when/if we go to San Diego in Sept. This may be a moot point if the State decides to cut attendant funds.

We try again

So, we try again to set up a family blog. I do enjoy reading my chidren's blogs and I want us to join the party. Besides, I will have to learn how these things work instead of always relying on Bry or Matt or Miranda to rescue me.